| has my mind found it's way back to xanga? i guess, but it's just a stopping by and saying hello. a catch up, a coffee break, an apology that neither one happened sooner. so i start and end with this...
my fingers become numb when using keys to express myself and my mind soon follows.
so just get drunk! |
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| I have disappeared into a life where I have let my mind not wander to those subjects i use to spend hours divulging in. and I have let myself dive into actions, only to think of repercussions afterwards. But tonight, I found myself quiet, due to thought and a head full of toxins(one of those giving me the courage/motivation to sit and write this). I found that this unhealthy life of living without thought must come to an end and that I must become my worried self again. Or this new life might transform me into something that my best friends don't recognize and my new friends take as who I am. I have apparated.
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| This friday, I start work at Jerry Jeff's office. Of course if Jerry Jeff's wife sees it fit...seriously. I am one lucky fucker. |
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| I am growing up, I tell myself. I am seeing and hearing more and more and getting more and more frustrated and scared. Call me token depression. I find out so many things that I just don't do anything but sleep. My sleep ain't doing me any better. Two nights ago, I had a dream that I was getting married to probably the best candidate for me to marry (in my parent's eyes). Maybe I am starting to feel that pressure? I don't know.
Every Sunday night comes to an end in the same way. A realization of the necessity to drink from the well that is rest. But yet, I never have a cup until about 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
You might categorize me as somebody that needs direction, aspiration, and religion. I say I just need somebody to take care of me better than I take care of myself.
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| Tonight, I taught myself a lesson. We, as youth and co-generation, should know that we are everything we do not want to be. We yearn to be different and ourselves, but no matter what, we will not be that. We will always be what everyone at the same moment is thinking, feeling, and acting upon. Sex, feelings, emotions are all one in the same. We do what we think is the right thing to do upon our group, our scene, our feeling. Once we get past that, we will then feel, act, and motion what we ourselves want.
Technology has fucked us all. |
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